In the past few years bodybuilders have had it easy; they would go online and among abundant offerings it wasn’t hard to find a legit and reliable supplier. However, in the past few months things have changed. Due to Olympics in China it is harder and harder to obtain legit products on the black market and bodybuilders are stuck to old methods. We thought this would be a good time to present an option from the old days. I read of it some time ago but kind of forgot about it until I took my dog to the vet recently due to problems with claws. Only in the pharmacy did I realize he was prescribed a gel which included testosterone. Hmmm….
These days it is virtually impossible for a human to go to a doctor and ask for a prescription for obtaining anabolic steroids; anabolics are controlled substances and, besides all medical restrictions with use of anabolic steroids for bodybuilding, doctors are hard pressed and checked for issuing prescriptions for anabolic steroids. If they prescribe them without a very good reason they could be accused of trafficking, etc. So obtaining a prescription from a doctor is out of the question. But doctors aren’t the only ones that can issue prescriptions, are they?!
The second group of medical specialist that can issue prescriptions for anabolics are Vets. Although many right now are thinking that they would never inject veterinary products you should know that many of the anabolic steroids used in bodybuilding are actually meant for veterinary use (like, tren, bolde…). And unlike the general opinion that vet products are of lower grade than human grade products it is actually vice versa – because the veterinary drugs can be passed from an animal to human in the form of food they must pass extra tests.
Now that you got the picture let’s look at the practical approach to the problem – how do you get a prescription from a vet? From school you know that all male mammals “work” in the same way – testicles produce hormones and are than dispersed throughout the system. If, for some reason or other, testicles cannot perform their function, hormones need to be fed externally for normal bodily function… Now we only need to make sure our animal’s testicles can’t perform their function.
At this point I really need to emphasize that I don’t approve of any animal torture and that this article is not to be used as an excuse for torturing animals. I also take no responsibility for your health and/or health of your animal should you perform any of the actions described below. Should you decide to recreate the actions you do so at your own risk! I would also like to point out that the animals aren’t really tortured or affected by this, in some cases it is actually better for them… And although this is completely legal each and every one of you should consider whether you find this to be a morally viable option.
So now that we cleared that issue let’s move forward: For this little trick you will need one castrated animal, couple of hours of your time, and Money. Unfortunately it will not be cheap.
The reasoning behind the whole deal is simple – testicles in an animal perform the same functions as in a human; one of the main functions is production and control of testosterone levels in the body. If an animal is castrated than the testicles don’t produce the hormones and they need to be applied externally. Just in case you are wondering, pets are usually castrated to make them less aggressive and more docile, etc.
Obtaining an animal is really the biggest problem – you need to have a relatively young, castrated, male mammal. I would tell you to get an ox but unless you have a barn at home a dog or a cat will be better suited. If you already own a male dog or a cat than you only need to decide whether you really wish to go on with the castration procedure. However, if you don’t have a pet, than you have two basic options. One option is to “borrow” a pet; as there are no rent-a-pet services around what you do is you find out if anybody you know owns a castrated male pet; if you know somebody it is a simple procedure of convincing that person of taking their pet to the vet with you. If you don’t know anybody, than you will have to get a pet for yourself (or buy your girlfriend one for birthday). As any male animal will do, the easiest way for you is to go to a local animal shelter and simply pick up a male cat. Notice that I advise to get a cat and that is for several reasons; if you don’t have a pet by now, than you are probably not into that and a cat is a better option as it takes a lot less responsibility than a dog; also, because many cats roam around freely it is a lot more common for cats to be castrated than dogs. And if you pick one from a shelter chances it is already castrated are greatly increased (less work and money for you). If the pet is not yet castrated than have it castrated by the vet.
And now it’s time to go pick up your gear. Catch your pet and go to the vet. Before going there it is a good idea to put on some baggie clothes, something that will make you look like a normal person – Vets are usually quite smart and if they see a bodybuilder walk in they could figure you out very fast. OK, go to the vet, and start complaining that you poor Cesar really isn’t himself lately, ever since the castration he is very dull, wouldn’t move around at all, seems he lacks energy, there really is a spark missing in him, and you’ve noticed this ever since the castration… If there’s something they’ve got that would give the cat the energy back it would be sooo great. Guess what the good doctor prescribes now? It gets even better becasue if you don’t really like what they prescribe you simply tell them that they’ve tried that the last time and it didn’t work, if they had something “stronger” it would be a lot better.
The only real drawback of this is that you cannot really control what the Vet will prescribe. The Vets decision can be somewhat manipulated but you never can tell. One way is to pretend to the Vet you just moved from Florida and there your Cesar was taking this specific item “drug name” (make sure it’s used for that). Quantities can also be an issue; however that can be circumvented by visiting numerous Vets in the area. And one is sure to prescribe the right med. A really cool bonus is the fact that you can have anything the Vet prescribes in your house and nobody can touch you as you obtained them legally and have a valid prescription. The bad thing of course is that Vets can be very expensive.
In the end a word of caution again – taking care for a pet is a responsibility and if you are thinking about getting one for this specific reason alone think again. It would be wiser to get one as a gift to a friend that wishes one and than simply borrow it from time to time. If you do get it for yourself than at least try to take good care of it – and in case the symptoms described above do present themselves, than be a good sport and share some of the medicine with your pet. And remember, you did a good deed as otherwise this poor animal would still be in a shelter.